struggle

i struggle with not working right now~
that's right, i'm not working right now. I have a teaching degree & am currently *wife* *guitarist* *unicyclist* *nature observationalist* *chef* *housekeeper* *tutor* *errand runner* *trail runner*

but i'm not making MONEY.

What is it about a bi-monthly paycheck that stuffs worth into my soul? Why did I feel so worthy then and so worthless now?

Some will think it's because we're made to work~ created to accomplish something (or pretend you're accomplishing something) every day of your life.

But I think it's b/c I'm still caught in a "Human-doing" vs. "Human-being" mentality.

Why can't being me & being useful at home be enough?
Why do others make me feel like a loser?
Why do I let them?